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I have so much to be grateful for and not just this year but every year. I’m healthy, I have my family and friends, I was able to travel at the beginning of the year, and I’ve rediscovered some of my passions. Honestly, my gratitude list could go on forever. However, we are all aware of what a roller coaster ride 2020 has been. I’ve had two long periods of writer’s block during this year. This is the first blog post that I publish in weeks because I’ve had the worst round of writer’s block of my life, but even with the downs of 2020, this year has been a blessing in disguise for me.
I know you may be thinking to yourself, say what? The girl who catches flights, the one who is always searching for the next big adventure, is calling 2020 a blessing when she hasn’t been able to travel since March? I know, shocking! The truth is, 2020 is a blessing in its own way. Having to stay in one spot and go on the most intense journey, the journey within myself, is probably one of the best things that could have happened this year.
I’m grateful for the moments of solitude that 2020 has brought me. Being “stuck” in one place has given me no other option than to go within and take a look at what has been missing, what has been ignored, and what it is that I desire. Do I have all the answers? No, I don’t. However, I have more insight into what I want, who I want to become, and what I want to do. Trust me; I don’t plan on giving up travel because one of the answers to what I want to do with my life is still to travel the world, but without taking the time to soul search, I would probably still be roaming the world to look for the answers that have always been within.
This year has been difficult and challenging for almost everyone I know. Some have lost loved ones, some have lost their jobs as I did, some have dealt with unexpected health issues, and others have faced some of their worst moments. This year’s trials feel more prominent than the triumphs, but I choose to remain positive and look at this year as a challenge. A time to step up to the plate and show the universe what you are made of.
The truth is it doesn’t matter what year it may be; there will always be problems and challenges to face. Maybe this year is the one that came in to remind us to remain grateful. To quit taking for granted the small things like going for a walk in the park, talking with friends and family, and sharing a meal with a loved one. These are the things that matter the most. The more we lead our lives in gratitude, the more we realize that we have an abundant amount of items to be grateful for.
With all of this being said, I want to say that I am grateful. I am thankful for this year; however screwed up it may be. I’m grateful for my health, family, friends, passions, talents, and faults. I’m thankful for 2020 and all of the tests, lessons, and blessings it has brought. Last but not least, I am grateful for every single one of you. Those of you who read my blog, follow me on social media, call yourself my friend or family, and am thankful to have each of you in my life. Thank you for following me along this crazy journey called life. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
An excellent way to avoid the hustle and bustle of city life is by spending time in nature. One of the popular ways to do this in Bali is by visiting a rice paddy. The most popular being Tegallalang in Ubud is the one featured in my photo. If you are interested in a total chill moment, I would suggest visiting a different one. Teglalang is beautiful and is the most popular, and it means that it is packed with tourists. It’s a must-see while in Bali. Now you know where all of the photos of rice paddies on your Instagram feed are coming from.
To book a tour to the rice paddy and other places of interest in Bali check out Adpada Bali Tours by clicking here: https://www.adpadabalitrans.com/
2. Try the world’s most expensive coffee.
I sh*t you not, (pun intended) the world’s most expensive coffee comes from Bali, Indonesia, and more specifically, it comes out of an animal’s feces. That’s right. An animal called a civet eats coffee cherries and digests them, and once they poop them out, they are cleaned and turned into coffee.
I love coffee, and I figure, I’ve tried some weird things in my lifetime, so why not? Kopi Luwak coffee doesn’t taste awful, but I also don’t think it is worth the price that it is sold worldwide, which is about $600 per pound. In other words, I’m not a huge fan.
The other part is that there has been such a high demand for this coffee worldwide that now the animals are put in caged and force-fed coffee cherries to mass-produce the highly sought out coffee. I tried it at a local farm that doesn’t produce on the mass scale and doesn’t force-feed their civets, nor do they partake in things such as animal cruelty. The truth is most people don’t know about the process involved; they hear “World’s Most Expensive coffee” and try it without knowing the backstory.
I’m not blaming anyone. No one randomly googles searches “World’s most expensive coffee” unless they are in the industry or a coffee connoisseur. However, I am a wildlife advocate and want to save our natural resources, so I feel compelled to inform my readers.
One of the popular things to do while in Bali is to visit a monkey forest. The main one on the island is the Ubud Monkey Forest.
Before visiting any Monkey Forest in Bali, you should know a few things;
They are used to tourists, and therefore they will approach you. Do not make a big scene like running, jumping, or screaming. It will scare them and quite possibly make them aggressive towards you.
They will steal your glasses, cell phones, hats, wallets, jewelry, etc. If you don’t want to lose something, put it in your backpack.
Because they are used to tourists, they expect food. Make sure you have plenty of nuts to feed them because they will get aggressive.
Monkeys in the Monkey Forests are known to do things like bite and throw sh*t at people. These things usually happen when tourists have not brought enough food or have started screaming or scaring them.
You are in their habitat. Respect them and do not try to hurt them. Remain calm and remember, it’s their territory, not yours.
My biggest suggestion is to not go to the popular Monkey Forest and go to a small one. Why? The monkeys are not nearly as aggressive, and they don’t focus on tourists. They prefer to keep their distance.I went to the Alas Kedaton Monkey Forest, which is much smaller, and as you can see, one of the monkeys approached me, and it went smoothly.
It’s an exciting experience. The monkeys are not in cages or mistreated by locals, but anytime any animals are involved with tourism, it is best to do your research and know how the animals are being cared for.
4. Visit a Hindu Temple
One thing that is abundant in Bali are Hindu temples. You can find them all over the island and you do not have to go far to find them. The Hindu temples are not only a representation of the Hindu religion which is the most prevalent religion on the island, but it is also a staple part of Balinese culture.
While I traveled around Bali with a new friend that I made who happened to be a local. I asked why I kept seeing people with baskets filled with fruit, flowers, and even money. He explained to me that part of Balinese Hindus traditions is to make a daily offering. If they cannot reach a temple, they will take their offering to one of the many small shrines spread throughout the cities and towns.
My new friend told me that if I wanted to make an offering, I could do so. He went with me to buy what I needed to take it to one of the local temples.
Honestly, it was a unique experience. I guess people will jump and say I tried to recreate an Eat, Pray, Love moment, but I’ve always been spiritual. I like to participate in a country’s culture actively, so for me, it was more about the experience than religion.
5. Visit Nusa Pineda
Nusa Pineda isn’t part of Bali, it is actually a separate island but if you are already in Bali then I highly suggest making the trip to Nusa Pineda. Why? Well, apart from being the second most popular spot for photos for the gram in Indonesia is Nusa Pineda just look at the views.
This small island is a short ferry ride from Bali, and although many tourists visit, it doesn’t feel overcrowded or packed at all. I suggest booking a tour guide or someone to show you around since getting around the island will be tough without a vehicle or motorcycle.
My guide while I was on the island was Tony who can be found on Instagram by clicking https://www.instagram.com/tonygila420/, highly recommend Tony. He is super down to Earth and laid back. He’s also extremely knowledgeable about Nusa Pineda and Indonesia in general.
A fun fact about the island is that Indonesians believe that the island is where evil spirits/black magic resides. Don’t let that scare you, though. Balinese believe that both good and bad must exist to create balance. Indonesian’s aren’t afraid of visiting the island, nor should you be. The island isn’t scary, and you feel like you are in paradise while you are there.
I love small islands because there is an immediate relaxing feeling when you arrive. Less traffic, less noise, fewer worries. I think 2020 has made everyone want to stay on an island for at least a month, and what better location than Nusa Penida?
If Bali wasn’t already on your bucket list then I hope after this list of things to do while in Bali has convinced you to add it. Below are more photos from my trip to Bali that I did not include on Instagram.
Stayed tuned for next weeks post where our virtual journey takes us to Thailand!
The third stop on our virtual tour is in my favorite Australian city, Cairns. Yes, Cairns beats Sydney in my book. I know, call me crazy, but there is a good reason why I fell in love with Cairns immediately. First and foremost, the climate. Cairns has a very tropical climate and anywhere with a tropical setting automatically wins a place in my heart. What can I say? I am a sucker for humidity, rainforests, palm trees, beaches, and the sun roasting my skin. Apart from the climate, Cairns is one of the most inviting places in Australia. What do I mean by inviting? The locals are your classic laidback, surfer, “carpe diem” type of crowd, which makes you feel like anything goes, which for the most part it does. The following are my top three things to do while visiting Cairns.
1. Visit the Great Barrier Reef
First ever Scuba Diving experience in the Great Barrier Reef.
The first item on my to-do list is the most obvious of all. If you travel all the way to Queensland how are you going to skip on seeing the world’s largest reef system? There are many different ways to visit the reef, one of them being scuba diving and snorkeling. My very first scuba diving experience was in the Great Barrier Reef. I am a swimmer and have been snorkeling plenty of times before but I had never truly experienced the beauty below the surface until I went scuba diving. I loved it so much that I became a certified diver and have been on countless scuba excursions since then.
When I went I used the company Tusa Dive for my introductory scuba experience. They provide both scuba and snorkel excursions. If you prefer not to scuba dive but are comfortable with snorkeling and want to get up close and personal with the reef then definitely check them out.
For more information on Tusa Dive company and their pricing check out their website here: https://www.tusadive.com/
2. Visit Cape Tribulation
In the name of transparency, I will admit that I had never heard of Cape Tribulation. When I was planning my trip I did what everyone does- I googled places to see in Cairns. One of the areas that continuously popped up was Cape Tribulation. After looking at photos of Cape Tribulation, I decided I had to see it. Port Douglas is about an hour drive from Cairns and apart from it being a beautiful beach, it is also part of the Great Barrier Reef so for those who do not want to adventure into snorkeling or scuba diving this is another excellent option to see the reef without even getting your feet wet! Why is Cape Tribulation on my list? Port Douglas and 4-mile beach are gorgeous beaches that are surrounded by a beautiful, green, and lush rainforest, which brings me to my third thing to do while in Cairns.
3. Visit the Daintree Rainforest
Daintree Rainforest Lookout.
When looking for ways to visit Cape Tribulation, I came across a tour that takes you to Port Douglas, 4-mile beach, and Daintree Rainforest on the same day. I am so glad that I opted for this tour because I feel like I got my money’s worth times ten. First of all, for those who do not know (like I didn’t), the Daintree Rainforest is the oldest continually surviving rainforest in the world. It may not be the biggest (the Amazon) but it is the oldest. While walking through the rainforest I felt like I was in Jurassic Park. The views felt like they were from another world. I could have spent an entire week in the rainforest alone.
The other reason why I feel like booking this tour was the best is because the tour guide that I had was incredible. Extraordinarily informative but also had a very approachable and laid back personality. Basically, he knew his facts but knew how to laugh when people told jokes. The tour company’s name is Uncle Brian’s, and I will 100% book another tour with them when I return to Cairns.
The Great Barrier Reef, Cape Tribulation, and the Daintree Rainforest are the best things to do while in Cairns and are each something I will recommend to anyone that is planning a visit to Cairns. You seriously cannot go wrong with any of these, and I can almost guarantee that you will wish that you would have spent more time in Cairns after your visit. Please don’t take my word for it though, get out there and explore Cairns for yourself!
Your virtual tour guide,
Janel
Interested in checking out more posts on Australia?
If you have been following my virtual journey on Instagram, you know the second city we visited in Australia is Adelaide. Adelaida is in South Australia, and if you are like me, you probably have never heard of it until now. I’m going to be fully transparent and admit that I had never heard of Adelaide, Australia until one of my close friends moved from the U.S. to Adelaide. I knew nothing about Adelaide except that she lived there.
Since I had a friend living there and I knew that I would be staying with her, I left the planning up to her to show me around her new town. I’m glad I decided to let her take over the planning because she showed me some excellent spots that I highly recommend to anyone visiting Adelaide. The following is my list of recommendations for activities to do while visiting Adelaide.
1. Jacob’s Creek Winery
While in Adelaide, I quickly learned that it is Australia’s wine capital. Immediately, it earned a place in my heart. I love a good glass of vino, what can I say? Knowing my undeniable love for good wine, my friend took me to a popular winery called Jacob’s Creek. Jacob’s Creek is a must-see while in Adelaide. The landscape of the Barossa Wine Valley is stunning, as you can see in the picture, and it makes me wonder why more people don’t mention Adelaide considering just how gorgeous it is. As for the wine, I bought a wine flight because if I’m going to spend the day at a beautiful winery and not try them all, what was the point? I savored each glass to the very last drop and enjoyed the views of the vineyard. If you live in the U.S. and you would like to try Jacob’s Creek before flying to Adelaide, you can buy it here, but I will say that there is something extra special about having a glass of their wine on their gorgeous vineyard. They offer tours around their vineyard, and their tasting room has lovely views of the vineyard.
Time to take a break from city life and bask in nature. It wouldn’t be a trip to Australia if there wasn’t a koala involved. Am I right? Let’s be honest, most of us learned about the animals of Australia thanks to Steve Irwin, and while everyone else can enjoy the array of poisonous snakes, spiders, and great white sharks that are plenty, I prefer the cuter, friendlier furry friends. Gorge’s Wildlife Park allows you to get up close and personal with several of the animals. While visiting, I was able to hold a koala. They smell like eucalyptus and love. Ok, just eucalyptus, but I loved being able to hold one in my own arms. I mean, how often are we able to be so up close and personal with nature?
Apart from koal-ity time, I was able to hand-feed kangaroos and wallabies as well. Kangaroos and wallabies are hopping around everywhere at the park, and some of them even have babies in their pouches. One even held my hand while I fed it. It’s another experience that I highly recommend while in Adelaide or Australia in general. You can feed the kangaroos and watch them play with each other. Make sure that you provide them with the food at the Wildlife Park and not something else.
To find out more information about Gorge’s Wildlife Park and to plan your visit, check out their website here: https://gorgewildlifepark.com.au/
3. Morialta Conservation Park
If you love wildlife and nature and prefer not to visit a wildlife park but see the natural habitat, I highly suggest visiting Morialta Conservation Park. The trails provide Adelaide’s stunning views, including a waterfall, mountainous lookout, and even koalas freely roaming and climbing trees. Being someone who likes to walk at my local park a lot, my mouth dropped when I saw koala’s just hanging out in the trees above me. It was a very unique experience and one that I probably wouldn’t have had if it weren’t for my friend taking me there.
My beautiful friend and I finally reunited.
4. Mount Lofty Summit
If you want some insane views of Adelaide, then head to Mount Lofty Summit. It is found in Cleland Conservation Park, and even though it was cloudy when I visited, the views were still impressive. I’m an outdoor enthusiast, and anything that involves mountains, greenery, and views, I’m there.
The stunning views at Mt. Lofty.
5. The Beach
It wouldn’t be a visit to Australia without visiting the beach, now would it? Adelaide has a gorgeous coastline and a boardwalk in Glenelg, filled with tons of cute shops and places to grab a bite to eat. While I visited, it was too cold for me to go in the water because I was there at the end of their winter. Hence the jacket and jeans at the beach.
I never imagined I would be wearing jeans and a jacket to the beach.
I highly recommend anyone visiting Australia to make the trip to Adelaide because it is a nice and refreshing slowing down of pace from the busier cities such as Sydney and Melbourne. I hope you have enjoyed my top 5 things to do while visiting Adelaide and if you get the chance to go, let me know if you added any of these to your itinerary.
Welcome to the land down under! Or for my fellow Americans, the other side of the world–literally. Our first stop is Sydney, Australia, and this post highlights my must-sees and must-dos while in Sydney!
First up, the must-sees. This includes areas and attractions to visit while in Sydney
AREAS TO VISIT
BONDI BEACH
One of the must-sees, in my opinion, and if you ask anyone else around Sydney, is Bondi Beach. One of Australia’s most iconic beaches and where you can see surfers and swimmers alike during all seasons. Honestly, it doesn’t matter if the water is arctic cold; you can spot someone in it.
Bondi Beach has a trail that wraps around the beach for about 6 km/4 miles. The path is easily accessible and is filled with stunning views of cliffs and coast.
Apart from the views, Bondi Beach is also filled with cute cafes, restaurants, shops, and bars. While I stayed in Sydney, I actually stayed in Bondi because after doing my research, it seemed to have the atmosphere that I wanted. Laid back, surfer, and care-free. Basically, me, minus the surfer part. (If you know how to surf, TEACH ME!) If you are looking for more of a metropolitan vibe, then I wouldn’t stay in Bondi, but I would definitely visit. It is a must-see while in Sydney, it doesn’t matter if you are not a surfer or swimmer; the views alone are worth visiting!
2. THE ROCKS
The Rocks is a neighborhood in Sydney near the Sydney Harbour Bridge that is filled with vibrant shops, pubs, and restaurants. Yes, there will be lots of tourists, BUT there are a lot of locals as well. It is a popular hangout spot where both locals and Sydney Siders mingle. I didn’t know about The Rocks prior to my trip, and I discovered it while walking around the city. Let’s just say, it turned into my go-to area to eat and drink. The Rocks has an official website that features a guide of the shopping and gastronomy available in the area. It also has the latest events happening in The Rocks. If you go to Sydney and you don’t go to The Rocks, then you truly will miss out on one of the coolest areas of the city, in my opinion.
The Sydney Opera House can be found in the Sydney Harbour, and not only is it one of the most recognizable buildings in the world, but it is also one of the most photographed buildings in the world.
Why is the Sydney Opera House so iconic? Because it is one of the most photographed buildings in the world and an architectural dream come true. The Sydney Opera House is just as impressive in person as it is on t.v. It is an architectural dream come true, and seeing it in person takes your breath away.
There are several ways to visit the Opera house. You can book one of several of the tours they offer, eat and drink in the restaurant inside or watch a show. Which you choose to do depends on a few factors, your likes/dislikes, and your budget. I chose the general tour of the Opera House, and then I had dinner at a nearby restaurant in the Harbour afterward.
For more information on how to visit the Sydney Opera House, you can visit their official website here: https://www.sydneyoperahouse.com/
Is it the Sydney Opera House, the only thing Sydney has to offer? Not at all.
2. THE ROYAL BOTANIC GARDENS
If you’ve been following me for a while, then you know I love nature. If you’re new to the blog, then allow me to explain; I love nature and outdoor activities. As soon as I heard that there was a botanical garden in Sydney, I knew I had to visit.
The Royal Botanic Gardens are like an oasis in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Australia’s most populated city. It’s a place where you can go and relax and take in the views. What are the views? Well, the Sydney Opera House can be seen from the gardens and so can most of the Harbour. It’s a great way to take a break from rushing around Sydney and just take it all in. Before visiting, you will want to see their website and see if they have any events or exhibits on display that you would like to see. The gardens are massive, and you definitely want to plan ahead.
Let me preface this by saying, I’m terrified of heights. The only thing that involves heights that don’t totally scare me is riding in a plane even though the older I get, the more nervous it makes me. Which is crazy considering I fly a lot. But fears are meant to be faced, or at least I believe so. The Sydney Tour Eye is the tallest building in Sydney and provides some of the best views of the city. The Sydney Tower Eye Tour allows you to walk outside and around the building while you are harnessed in and attached to the building. I’m not going to lie, I was terrified at first. I felt my heart in my throat when I stepped outside and saw how tiny the world looked below. The great part is that the guides are very knowledgable, and they understand that people are afraid, so they make you feel as comfortable as possible during the entire tour. They take a photo of you for you to keep, and I obviously felt so comfortable that I decided I would jump on a glass floor. Would I do it again? Hell yeah! The experience was totally worth it, and it is one of my favorite Sydney memories.
The Sydney Tower Eye wasn’t my only adventure with heights. I know what you are thinking, “Didn’t she say she is scared of heights?” I promise they terrify the hell out of me, but I guess something about being on a different continent, a new country, and thousands of miles away from home that just screams, “FACE YOUR FEARS!”When I researched things to do in Sydney, one of the attractions or something to do that popped up was the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb. I thought to myself, “How many times in my life will I be able to climb across a bridge and not get arrested?” Considering this would probably be my only chance, I booked it. I would be a bold-faced liar if I said I wasn’t totally terrified. The good news is that you are secured in by a harness that is attached to the bridge by a cable, and once you start walking and soaking up the view, you almost forget you are walking across a bridge. The experience was 100% worth it, and I would totally do it again.
*The photo at the head of the article is from the Bridge Climb.
Like most travelers, I had a long list of places that I wanted to visit in 2020—Burning Man 2020, Day of the Dead in Oaxaca, Mexico, Dublin, Ireland, and Machu Picchu, Peru, to name a few. And then BOOM. COVID-19. I’ve been trying to make a positive out of a negative, and I figured if I can’t travel around the world right now, I can at least do it virtually.
In 2017, I made a Trip Around the World where I started in Australia and ended in Iceland before returning to the U.S. I visited four continents and had a fantastic time. So why not relive some of those moments and show my followers places around the world that could be potentially added to their bucket lists. I mean, we can’t stay home forever. Right?
It has been quite the task to put this virtual “Trip Around the World” together, but it has also helped relieve some of the sadness I’ve felt from not just getting up and going. It has also brought back those lovely feelings of nostalgia and thoughts of “What the hell was I thinking?” The answer is, I wasn’t. I was living.
Not only has this project help me relive moments, but it has also allowed me to relive outfits—some that I probably never want to see again in my life and other staples of my wardrobe. For example, you may notice that I’m wearing shorts and a black tank top for many of my pictures. To this day, my sister makes fun of me for it because I packed a ton of cute outfits, but when I was in Asia, it was as humid as a swamp in the middle of summer, and I chose comfort over Instagram fashion. Looking back on the pictures reminds me that what’s cute to me today probably won’t be in 3 years; wear it anyway.
I’ve also decided to include a few videos. Some of them are of the weird things that I either ate or drank on that trip. I mean, if you are going to experience a country and it’s culture, food and drink are an essential part of it. If you don’t believe that, then just know that Anthony Bourdain (my travel hero) is shaking his head in disappointment at you from the other side.
Therefore for the next 30 days on my Instagram page, I will be sharing different places and experiences around the world and details about my experience of just the destination in general. There are a few destinations that I have included that are not from that same trip, but I wanted to include them. Apart from posting photos on Instagram, I will be posting on my blog weekly about one of the destinations that I have posted. The blog post will include my recommendations on what to do, sites to see, areas to check and out, and my experience.
The link to follow my Instagram page so you can follow along on the visual journey is below.
This past Saturday, I attended a wedding that was nothing less than magical. It occurred on June 20th, 2020, which happened to be the same day as the Summer Solstice, otherwise known as the longest day of the year, during pride month and a global pandemic. Apart from these factors, what made this wedding so special? It was between two of my dear friends, Bryant and Justin.
I was finally able to witness two of my friends’ Bryant and Justin, unite as one, in a beautiful, socially distanced wedding ceremony. I felt honored to be able to witness two me that I love and who love each other exchange heartfelt vows that could make even the hardest of hearts crack open and shed tears. Bryant and Justin are madly in love. Seeing them love each other the way they do only makes me hopeful that I may one day be able to experience something so powerful as their love. Is their relationship perfect? No relationship is, but they are, in fact, perfect for each other.
When Bryant first started dating Justin, he told my mom about him and how he wanted us to meet him to give him our thoughts. I’ll be honest, I’m incredibly protective of my friends and family, and so it’s hard for me to warm up to someone at first, but I immediately liked Justin. I saw how happy he made Bryant, and that was all that mattered to me because, in the end, it’s someone’s heart and the way that they treat you that truly matters.
During their wedding ceremony, one of the guest speakers said that when he was asked to say something at their ceremony, he couldn’t think of anything better than the Supreme Court decision to declare gay marriage legal. His speech was the Supreme Court’s decision, and he replaced the names of the petitioner to Bryant and Justin’s names. As soon as he began to read the Supreme Court’s decision, the tears started to stream down my cheeks. Without that decision precisely five years ago tomorrow (June 26th, 2020), their wedding would have never happened.
I remember when gay marriage became legal within the United States on June 26th of 2015, and I thought to myself, “Finally! My friends will be able to marry each other, just like everyone else.” I am not part of the LGBTQ community, but many of my friends and family members are, and I have always supported their rights. I remember congratulating my closest friends in the LGBTQ community and expressing my feelings of joy for them. It was refreshing to feel like society was progressing towards including everyone, not just some.
The month of June is a time of celebration for one specific community within the U.S., and that is the LGBTQ community. Pride month began years before gay marriage was legalized, but it has always celebrated that love is love. Pride means a lot to the LGBTQ community seeing how they have had to fight and are still fighting for their rights to be themselves and love each other freely.
The news of gay marriage becoming legal in the U.S. received both negative and positive feedback. Some people do not agree with and or approve of homosexuality. It can be religious beliefs, upbringing, or quite simply a lack of exposure to the gay community that keeps some people from understanding why being gay isn’t a crime, nor should it be illegal. People in the LGBTQ community are human beings, just like the rest of us.
I am very fortunate that while growing up, my parents taught me that being gay isn’t a choice; it’s something that you are born being. I believe this to be true. I have heard my gay and lesbian friends stories about the fear of coming out to their parents, some being rejected by their families, some being bullied in schools, and others publicly shamed for being “too feminine” or “too masculine.” These stories have reinforced my belief that gay isn’t a choice. No one willingly chooses to be treated poorly by society. I didn’t choose to be a heterosexual female, but here I am, straighter than an arrow. If I cannot explain why I am attracted to the opposite sex, why should someone who is attracted to the same sex have to explain themselves? They shouldn’t. If I, as a heterosexual female, can marry whomever, I please, why shouldn’t my friends be able to do the same?
This post and these words are dedicated to my dear friends, Bryant, and Justin. I am grateful to know you both and call you my friends. I cherish the fact that I was able to witness your beautiful union. You are both incredibly blessed to have found each other and to have found love within one another. Please continue to be the beautiful souls that you are and to share the love that you share with the rest of the world. Finding what you two have is rare, magical, beautiful, and everlasting. Cheers to a month of pride and a lifetime of love! ❤️
Exchange of vows
First kiss as husbands
My mother, Bryant, myself and Justin
My mother & I celebrating Pride at our local Pride parade in 2016.
If you’ve been following me for a while, then you know that my blog’s primary focus has always been travel. Whether it be descriptions of destinations, top things-to-do lists, or retelling stories of my adventures around the world, the main focus has already been travel. Therefore you may have noticed that my blog has shifted a little outside of travel. Why is this?
Considering that the entire globe is dealing with a pandemic and travel is extremely restricted in most places around the world, I find it out of place to talk about travel and all of these fantastic places to visit. It feels insensitive to me to discuss travel when there are people who are sick, dying, on locked down, taking care of the ill/dying, or dealing with the loss of a loved one due to COVID19. I understand and respect that there are still people discussing travel, and I do not condemn them in any way or doing so. It’s my personal feeling of not being able to discuss travel while there is so much suffering happening across the globe and be comfortable with it.
Does this mean I’m never going to discuss travel in the future? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I love traveling. It is my passion. Under other circumstances, I would advocate travel and discuss why I believe everyone should make it a priority at least once in their lifetime. For right now, I think this is a moment for me to take a step back and discuss things that are also near and dear to my heart.
I understand that some would love my blog just solely to focus on travel and trust me, I have upcoming travel posts and special announcements for when I feel like it becomes an appropriate topic again. I also know that others are interested in reading my thoughts and experiences in different areas of life. Whether it be about humanitarianism, life experiences, my struggles, grief, my different views about life, spirituality, dating, and the list goes on.
I want my blog to be multifaceted because I, myself, am multifaceted. I’m more than just a travel blogger. I’m a storyteller. I want to introduce more of my other qualities to the world through my personal stories. All of the posts that I create have been, are, and will always come from my authentic self. Just as the world changes, so do we and along with it, our beliefs. Who I am and what I believe today are likely to change with time, but they will only change to align and shift with my authentic self. My promise to the world is to stay true to who I am and what I believe in this present moment. I’m always willing to objectively look at myself and admit when I am wrong or when a belief no longer serves me. I believe that is an essential part of personal growth.
The reason for this post is that I felt compelled to explain to you, my audience, why I’ve been silent and also why my posts have shifted in regards to focus. Is travel still going to be the main topic? OF COURSE! Just now, I’ll include some more personal posts along the way.
I’m looking forward to what will come of this decision and hope that my audience is open to this new addition to my blog. I’m excited to see where this journey will take me and overjoyed that my wings are spreading even further.
Before you read this post, I find it necessary to first say to you, my audience, that I write this piece without the intent of offending anyone. I do not write this post to speak on the black experience in the U.S. or to take anything away from my loved ones who live it every day. I write this piece from the depths of my heart and soul and as a way to share my beliefs and express my love for all of humanity.
These past few weeks, while living in the United States, have been filled with sadness, fear, turmoil, and, unfortunately, lots of hatred. I cannot speak for the black community because I am, in fact, not black. I do not pretend for one second to say that I understand the black experience, especially not the black experience in the United States of America, because I have never lived it. What I have lived is a life filled with friends and family from all different walks of life. People who do not share the same color skin, nor the same religion, nor the same sexual preference as I, but we share one thing in common, and it is the most important of all. We share an undeniable love for one another.
This love is the same love that I was taught to show to others. It is a love for humanity and the souls that lay within the physical bodies of each person. As a way of teaching me this love, my parents made sure that I understood that we are all equals. The famous “never judge a book by its cover” was something always said in my house. My parents always said that you should determine who a person is solely based on their heart. It is something I’ve used throughout my life to decide who I allow to remain in my life and who I let go.
One day, when I was around five years old, I came home and asked my biological father why my best friend was black, and I was white. My father gave me what I believe is the best explanation anyone could give a young child, and this is what I plan to repeat to my future children. My father said, “You know how there are rainbows in the sky, and they are all different colors? Well, God made us all different colors so that there would be a rainbow on Earth like there is in the sky.” That was all my father had to say to me to understand that we may all look different, but we are created the same. To this day, this simple explanation forms part of my core beliefs.
As most people know, I am a traveler. I have traveled 6 of 7 continents, and I have had experiences outside of the typical human experience of staying in one country for the majority of their life. I recognize that this is a privilege. I am beyond blessed to have had the ability to travel and experience other cultures with my own eyes, ears, and heart. Travel has opened the doors for me to meet new people and listen to and learn from human experiences that are not my own. It has also allowed me to view my culture from other viewpoints and be a spectator standing on the outside looking in.
What I have been able to see while on the outside is a country that says it prides itself on being a melting pot, but it insists on creating a divide within the pot. This divide is amplified through politics, race, religion, sexual preference, profession, and gender. The main idea that divides us is the idea that we cannot be different and love each other at the same time. My friends and I prove that differences of opinion, race, gender, religion, and sexual preference do not make us hate one another. It’s the opposite. It makes us love each other. I love my friends for being different than me. I value the voices of my friends who have lived a human experience that is unlike mine. I listen to their stories, and I learn from them. I may not know what it is like to “walk a mile” in their shoes, but I try my best to listen, educate myself, and comprehend the emotion behind their human experience.
Through my friends, I have heard stories of what it is like to be black in the U.S., what it is like to be an immigrant in the U.S., what it is is like to be a Muslim in the U.S., what it is like to be gay in the U.S., and the list goes on. I do not pretend to understand their experience fully because I cannot fully understand an experience that is not my own. Still, I acknowledge it, I respect it and push myself to learn from it, and most importantly, I empathize with it. To me, Black Lives Matter is much more than just a hashtag; it’s a reality that many of my friends live.
The recent events that have taken place in this country have broken my heart. I have physically felt my heartbreaking. My heart breaks for my black friends who continually feel the need to defend their worth. My heart breaks for the mothers who have lost their sons and daughters to racism and injustice in this country. My heart breaks for the peaceful protesters who have been given a bad name by people who have a different personal agenda. My heart breaks for police officers who signed up to do a job that they believed would create a better society. My heart breaks for humanity.
It breaks my heart and infuriates me that I am the third generation in my family to protest for black rights because things have not changed since my grandmother marched for Civil Rights or since my mother, along with her family, protested against segregation. I am appalled and dismayed that it is 2020, and my friends are not treated as my equal. Not only are they not treated as equals by a specific group of people, but the system still treats them as less than. This is the case for all minorities in America. Yet, in this current moment, the focus is on black people in America and the fact that after hundreds of years of black people fighting to be seen as equal, the system continues to fail them. We, as a society, have failed them. I do not believe that what is happening in the United States right now is Black v.s. White, nor is it People v.s. Police, it is THE PEOPLE v.s. THE CORRUPT SYSTEM.
I believe that we live in a society ruled by a system that would like to see us divided, but the one thing that will always unite us is love. I refuse to allow what is happening in this country to fill my heart with hate. I refuse to allow the anger that I feel to become fuel for hatred. I refuse to create more of a division within society. I have always stood for and will continue to stand for human rights. I choose to lead by example and demonstrate through my actions that I stand for all of my friends, not just some. I will stand up for you and speak up for your rights when your voice fails you. I do not care about your race, religion, sexual preference, gender, profession, or political affiliation. I have a voice, and I refuse to stand by in silence while I watch my friends suffer. I believe what we see happening in the United States of America right now will have a ripple effect across the world. Racism exists not only in this country but globally, and I genuinely believe that this is the match that will light all of the others. It will spark much-needed conversations within countries, communities, and families. It will force the people who have created and enforce the system to listen. It will create change.
As a humanitarian, I wholeheartedly believe that we should be the change that we want to see in the world. The change that I want to see in the world is one in which we all agree that not only are we created as equals, but that we should be treated as equals. This change will happen if we allow ourselves to listen to the struggles of others and empathize with it. The change will come when we allow that empathy to fill our hearts with love and spread that love to one another. Love one another for our similarities and our differences. The key ingredient to make our rainbow on Earth just as beautiful as the one in the sky is love. Feel it, be it, spread it.
Up until the other day, I had been doing a good job of staying as positive as possible about this entire situation. After seeing several posts on the internet about how someone else’s health and well being isn’t as important as one’s liberty, I lost it. The posts were about public officials requiring that people use masks in public. After seeing so many people refusing to wear a mask because it was an infringement upon their rights, I was engulfed in anger.
I had to sit with myself and ask myself why would someone else’s opinion or actions bother me so much. The best answer that I came up with is that I’m the type of person who would bend over backward to help someone who needed it, and I’m also the type of person who takes care of others. I put my needs and wants second when I know someone else needs my help. It’s just part of who I am, and I wouldn’t change that part of me for anything.
One of the reasons why I believe that I am so empathetic towards the life of others is because I’ve watched numerous family members die since I was a teenager. Watching someone actively die with your own eyes puts a lot of things into perspective. One of those things is the value of human life and how precious it is. We are here right now at this moment, but that can all change in the blink of an eye. We all say this, but not everyone fully comprehends the meaning of “Here today, gone tomorrow.”
Since I’ve stood by and watched several of my family members pass away, it has forever engraved images in my mind that I will never forget. For example, one of my last memories of my grandma is of her in a hospital bed, drowning on her own fluids in her lungs because of lung cancer. The image and sound of her drowning on her own fluids are still vivid memories that I live with.
People dying of COVID-19 are experiencing the same situation. Their lungs fill up with fluid, they can no longer breath, and they die. The difference between this situation and my grandmother dying is that I was able to say goodbye to my grandmother, in person. People now have to say their goodbyes via an iPad. It breaks my heart, knowing that people cannot hug or kiss their loved ones goodbye because I know how much those final moments can mean to someone after their loved one has passed.
Having dealt with death on so many levels over so many years, I’ve become sensitive to human life. I was so upset by others’ comments and actions because I felt like humanity has lost three essential things—love, compassion, and empathy. People saying that their right to choose whether or not to wear a mask is more important than the life of another is in my mind, unfathomable.
I have family members that are at high risk of contracting COVID-19, and it causes me stress and anxiety having to think about if I’m going to have to lose another family member and this time not even be able to say goodbye. The possibility of having to deal with another death has not only caused stress and anxiety, but it has also made me relive moments of grief. Last year, I lost my stepdad due to sudden death, and not having that “final goodbye” still breaks my heart. That is why I try to be compassionate, empathetic, and loving towards others. I try to take into consideration the health and well-being of those around me because I know what it feels like to lose someone, and I do not want to cause that pain for someone else.
After going to bed, mad at the world, I woke up and decided that I’m not going to be angry at the choices and opinions of others. I refuse to allow the beliefs of others to consume me and turn me into someone angry and bitter. The human experience is different for all of us, and although I know how awful it feels to lose someone close to you, many people, fortunately, do not. Although I may not agree with someone else’s opinion doesn’t mean that I need to allow their ideas to get the best of me.
Being empathetic to others can often mean becoming a sponge to other’s negativity as well, and I recognized that I was allowing myself to soak in negativity and allowing it to change my mood. I realized that this was not going to accomplish anything, nor was it healthy for my soul. After reminding myself that I cannot change the world, I can only change myself; I woke up with a different attitude. I truly believe in karma and reaping what we sow, so instead of sowing seeds of anger and hatred because there is already too much of that in our current world, I’m going to continue to be the person who is empathetic, compassionate, and loving.
Love and light to all of those souls who need it now more than ever. Including me. 💖
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