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Today marks exactly one month since my cousin took his own life. On November 11th, 2021, the unimaginable happened. My baby cousin decided to leave this world behind in hopes to end his suffering.
Death and loss are not foreign subjects to my family. We’re very well versed in death and grief, but to lose someone so young and by suicide has been by far the hardest thing my family has had to deal with and is still dealing with. I wanted to write something in regards to my cousin’s death because mental health, and especially men’s mental health, is a topic that we avoid, sweep under the carpet and negate.
Depression is real and it is a silent killer. Maybe this post will help someone find help or reach out for help. Maybe it will help someone going through the same type of loss feel like they’re not alone. Writing is my creative medium to process my emotions and I couldn’t keep this built up inside of me any longer. If what I write doesn’t help anyone else, it will help me and that’s a good enough reason to write it.
Suicide is often looked at as a selfish act. I have to disagree. Suicide is the ending of personal suffering that no one can comprehend besides that person. I don’t want to accept what my cousin did but I also refuse to blame him. Our minds can be our own personal infernos that we either feed the fire or try to fan out the flames. For some people, it’s impossible to escape. Ethan couldn’t find the way to end his internal battles even though he tried and unfortunately he lost his war with depression. He didn’t act out of selfishness, he acted out of desperation.
Losing Ethan has left a huge gap in my family and we’re all walking around with an invisible open, bleeding wound, that we’re trying to figure out how to cauterize and eventually heal. None of us are ok and we shouldn’t be expected to be either. When we first found out, it felt like we were trapped inside of an endless nightmare. I had a tiny dot of hope that it was just that, a nightmare that I would wake up from. In my mind, it couldn’t be real. Not Ethan.
Now, a month later, the hopes of it being just a nightmare have disappeared and the heartbreaking fact that this is reality has taken over. The holidays are right around the corner and no one in my family is looking forward to them. I can’t imagine a Christmas without Ethan telling jokes and his distinct laugh. I can’t imagine eating Christmas dinner and not discussing politics and the deplorable state of the world with Ethan. This is not the way it was meant to be yet I have to accept that this is now the way things are.
To better understand why this loss is so devastating you must understand Ethan’s legacy. He was the kid with a heart of gold. The guy who would give you his shirt off his back or the last dollar to his name if you needed it. He helped others who were struggling and oftentimes those who he helped had no idea of his own internal struggles.
In 2020, when the world seemed to be on fire and the number of injustices that happen in this country seemed to be at a record high, Ethan took to the streets to protest and fight for justice. Just like his late father, he refused to stay idle. He was heavily involved in fighting for what he believed in and did all that he could to make this world a better place. We would always discuss what a mess the world was even before 2020 and how it seemed that no one cared. Ethan cared. He cared so much that seeing all of the suffering and cruelty in this world was too much for him to bear.
On the day of his funeral, hundreds of people showed up to say their goodbyes. It was amazing to watch how many lives Ethan impacted. My aunt said that if only Ethan could have felt the love that was in that room then maybe he wouldn’t have done what he did. The guy with the biggest heart and who loved so deeply didn’t realize how much he was loved in return. I know in my heart that if he would have thought for a moment that he would be hurting anyone by taking his own life then he would have never done it. He would never intentionally hurt or harm anyone much less the people who loved him so much.
The terrible truth is we will all have to live with an unknown for the rest of our lives. We don’t know Ethan’s thoughts or what led him to make his decision. None of us were in his head and we can only speculate. What we can do is continue to honor his legacy of being a good human being. We must continue to show through examples of love and caring that there are still good people out in the world. That’s what he would want us to do and that is how he should be remembered.
At the funeral, one of my bosses told Ethan’s sister, “I’m sorry for your loss.” and replied to him, “I’m sorry for the world’s loss.” That sums up exactly how I feel. I’m sorry for the world’s loss. My family didn’t just lose someone who we love with all of our hearts, the world lost the biggest heart and a beam of light that day.
A few days after his service, I had multiple dreams of just Ethan and in each of them, he was smiling and laughing. I could hear his laugh so clearly and it was so realistic that I felt like I was physically with him. I woke up crying because of how realistic the dreams were. I believe that those dreams were his way of telling me that he is happy and at peace. I know that at this moment, he is with my Uncle Michael, his father, and the rest of our family members who have passed before him and he is happy and at peace.
Death marks an ending and a beginning. It is an ending of a beautiful life and the beginning of a long process of healing and learning to continue on while someone is missing. Now my family and I are left to heal our broken hearts knowing that we will never be the same.
Ethan, you are loved and will be forever missed.
P.S. I will always remember you as the little boy running around his house in his favorite Robin t-shirt with Woody cowboy boots on and a red, plastic firefighter hat on top of your head.
When any year comes to an end, we all reflect on what the year has been for us. Most of the time, we run down the list of accomplishments, failures, or major life events such as deaths, weddings, babies, etc. This year, everyone’s most significant achievement is surviving.
We often don’t give ourselves enough credit for simply making it through an awful year. If you are reading this and are beginning to reflect on what you accomplished, what you should have done, what you wanted to do, and couldn’t, let me stop you right there. You are alive, and you are breathing. This year dug its claws into the sides of most people and wreaked havoc. If you’ve made it to December 31st, 2020, then thank yourself. Thank yourself for being able to endure a roller coaster ride that none of us asked to ride.
For me, 2020 wasn’t my worst year. I know people are shocked when I say that 2020 wasn’t my worst year, but trust me, I’ve hit rock bottom and found that it had a basement years ago. For me, 2020 was a blessing, and I’m grateful for the gift that this year has been for me. While saying this, some people are being evicted from their homes, young children are starving, someone is breathing their last breath in an ICU bed alone, and some people’s mental health is at its worst. I recognize that to be able to say that 2020 is a blessing is a privilege, and I acknowledge it fully and my heart truly goes out to those who have lost everything this year. I hope and pray that 2021 brings you nothing but blessings.
For me, 2020 wasn’t the year in which I accomplished anything, and being someone who prides themselves on checking everything off on their long list of goals, that’s a hard pill to swallow. In fact, I lost a lot when most people look at what happened, but I feel like I gained so much more.
Starting from the beginning of the pandemic, I lost my jobs; all forms of income flew out of the window. I had no clue how I would survive. I had agreed to take a position and move to Italy in May pre-pandemic. We all know how that eventually went since I continue to sit in the U.S. Since Italy was no longer part of the picture, I interviewed with a specific government branch. I made it through the entire hiring process and was 95% guaranteed the job. This was a huge relief considering I had been three weeks without employment and was losing my mind on how I would make money.
At the very end of the hiring process, I was only waiting to receive the formal paperwork; they informed me that they couldn’t offer me the job because I had lived outside the U.S. 3 out of the last five years. I guess I can spend the entire first 18 years of my life in the U.S., and those count for nothing. Who knew. Either way, I didn’t get the job, and it was one that I wasn’t going to have a single financial worry, ever. Finding out that I wasn’t qualified for a government job because I’ve lived a life outside of the U.S. triggered me to thinking of just leaving the country altogether, again. I considered moving back to Panamá since I figured if I have to be stuck somewhere might as well be stuck somewhere with nice weather.
The roller coaster ride of figuring out what I was going to do continued for months. I had no clue what I was going to do with my life, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to be. No clue. I honestly still don’t have all the answers to those questions, but let’s be honest, who does?
This roller coaster ride also included a moment of emotional vulnerability. At the height of quarantine, I decided it was time to confess my feelings for a friend. After years of not wanting to admit how I felt, not acknowledging that I have feelings, and having more walls built around my heart than Fort Knox, I decided it was time to be vulnerable. Besides, what else did I have to lose this year?
I had the genius idea of writing a handwritten letter to a friend and confessing my feelings for them. It was like a flashback to kindergarten when we wrote those notes to each other, “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Circle yes or no. Except this was the 31-year-old version where I explained how I had feelings for him but never had the guts to say anything because I feared messing up our friendship. I didn’t want to ruin years of friendship by having feelings for him, but I figured it’s now or never. I poured my heart out onto the pages and left nothing unsaid. He kindly returned me to the friend zone in which I belong.
Although confessing my feelings, something that I never do if I honestly like someone, was a huge step as far as I’m concerned. I probably would have never told him if it hadn’t been for this crazy year. It would have been my secret that I took with me to the grave, and we would have continued being friends, him having no clue how I felt and me pretending that I didn’t care when deep down, I do care. It was also a friendly reminder that it’s ok to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is what most of us avoid, but we would probably see more rewards if we were more willing to risk it. I may have ended up in the friend zone, but I am proud of myself for taking the risk and also getting the weight of my feelings off of my chest. Zero regrets.
Although I just explained some of my many low points this year, thankfully, one disappointment after another this year led me to continue to go within and figure out who I am, what I want, and what is for my highest good. Facing myself and my fears of not being successful, being rejected, being stuck in one place, not traveling, etc., and work through every one of them has been the biggest blessing 2020 could have given me. Any other year I would be too busy traveling, working, living life to the fullest that I wouldn’t take the time to go within and ask myself, “What is it that you want?” I don’t have all of the answers; no one does, but I’m still searching for them, and that’s the best anyone can do.
2020 stopped me in my tracks and forced me to take the time to sit with myself and work through a lot of the things that I kept pushing to the side. Most of us want to leave everything behind in 2020 and start fresh tomorrow when we wake up. However, I want to carry some things that I’ve learned in 2020 with me into 2021.
The first one is gratitude and being grateful for everything. I’m grateful for this year of hard lessons, my health, my family’s health, and my many friends who have supported me this year. I’m grateful for it all. The second one is vulnerability. Remembering that showing feelings and having feelings isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. The third is my health. I want to continue to stay on a healthy path where I focus on my physical, mental and emotional health. As they say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” so I am going to continue to fill mine so I can serve others.
2020 may have been the year we never wanted, but it is the year in which a lot of our eyes opened to see what matters the most. In the end, all we have is our health, our family, our friends, and our thoughts and feelings. The rest of it means nothing. Instead of saying, F*** You, 2020, I’d like to say Thank you, 2020.
Happy New Year friends,
Janel
P.S. This video of Snoop Dogg thanking himself is what all of us need to be doing at the end of 2020.
This year the holidays look very different for a lot of us. Many of us will not be able to celebrate with our families or friends like we typically do. To help bring some holiday cheer to those who cannot celebrate the way they are used to, I’ve found the top 5 spots in Louisville to see Christmas lights for FREE.
For those families whose children are sad because they can’t see their grandparents or friends who have no one to celebrate with but want to feel some holiday cheer, here is a list of places you can see from your car that will help brighten your spirits. Tonight, on Christmas Eve, if you need some Christmas magic to make it through these next few days, look at the lights and remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
This list is my gift to all of my followers and a way to say Merry Christmas from me to you.
1. 1249 S Clay St, Louisville, KY 40203
By far, my favorite is Clay St. Christmas. It is created by a local DJ who puts on a fantastic light show with music. It is free to watch, but donations are appreciated. You can donate via Venmo. Christmas Eve & Christmas Day show times are 6 PM-11 PM, Saturday 6 PM- 10 PM, and Sunday 6 PM- 8 PM.
2. Ashfield Lane, Louisville, KY 40220 off of Lowe Road.
There is no specific address for this one because the ENTIRE neighborhood is lit up. Each house is decorated, and three houses stand out. One has it’s one light and music show, and another had a very special guest- SANTA! That’s right, the big man himself made an appearance, and the little girl inside me screamed louder than Will Ferrel in the Elf, “SANTAAAA!” My favorite is the one with the music and light show because I’m a sucker for music, but all of them did an amazing job.
3. 8711 Brittany Drive, Louisville, KY 40220.
A hidden gem in Stoneybrook and a real spectacle. The decorations are in memory of Brian Humpich, who passed away from cancer. They ask for donations to Kids Cancer Alliance (KCA) if you enjoy the lights. Some of the items that you can donate are markers/crayons, coloring books, playing cards, small puzzles, play dough, etc. or you can make a monetary donation to https://www.kidscanceralliance.org/
4. 2804 Cleveland Ave, Louisville, KY 40206.
Like the house off of Brittany Drive, this house is over the top with Christmas decorations. There is no way to miss it while driving down Cleveland. It gives off enough light that I’m pretty sure NASA can see it from space. There is a church parking lot in front of the house where you can park to take a picture.
5. Chestnut Ridge Circle, Louisville, KY 40245 (Lake Forest neighborhood.)
Growing up, Lake Forest was known to have some of the best Christmas lights to see from your car. They even had reindeer at one point. This year Lake Forest isn’t as decorated as years past, but one house specifically decided to show up for the entire neighborhood. When you drive into the Lake Forest neighborhood from the Old Henry exit, you will take the second left, and the house will be on your right. You cannot miss it. Tune in to 92.5 FM to hear the music with the lights show.
With one week left before Christmas and we are right in the middle of Hanukkah, I know my fellow last-minute shoppers are probably searching high and low for the perfect gift for their loved ones. 2020 has been a challenging year for us all, especially small business owners. I’ve always supported small and local businesses because the people who run them are just like you and me. The best way to support my favorite local businesses was to do another Unique Holiday Gift Guide with all of my favorite spots that keep Louisville weird and make us all Kentucky proud.
The following are all local businesses and people within the Louisville and Lexington area where I shop and personally know the owners. They are in no particular order, and each of them holds a special place in my heart because they are owned and run by amazing people. Check out what their shops are all about and some of the lovely faces behind them.
1. Poetic Moon
If you are looking for handmade jewelry, bath soaks, oils, candles, etc., all made with intention, then look no further than Poetic Moon. Bridget Case owns it, and everything in her store is handcrafted by her. She puts her heart and soul into what she does, and since discovering her place, I cannot deny that it is my go-to shop for any and everything self-care. If you want to take a long relaxing bath after a tough day, week, or even year (AKA 2020), then I highly suggest buying her Goddess Bath Soak. It smells fantastic, and you can feel the stress lift right out of your body. Other items that I recommend are her oils and handmade candles. They both smell so wonderful, and each item has a specific use. You can stop in her shop located at 109 S Bayly Ave, Louisville, KY 40206, right off of Frankfort Avenue, or you can browse her products on her Instagram page or shop from her website. https://www.instagram.com/poeticmoon.boutique/
2. Produce from Faul Family Riverside Farm
Andre is a local farmer who raises organic poultry, beef, pork, and shrimp. He uses a farming style that ensures that the animals are always moving around the farm and that they have plenty of space. I featured him and the farm on my blog last year and discussed his farm’s fantastic job of delivering an organic, fresh, and delicious product. They currently have a meat subscription box where you can get fresh meat delivered to you monthly. It’s the perfect gift for any meat-lover or anyone who wants to know that their product is ethically farmed and produced. https://faulriversideky.com/
3. By Any Means Fitness
2020 is the year that reaffirmed that our health is our wealth. With gyms either being partially closed or at limited capacity, it doesn’t change the fact that they are a vital tool to maintain ourselves as healthy as possible. My favorite locally owned gym in Louisville just so happens to be owned by two of my close friends, Jordan and Djuan Means. They are both personal trainers themselves, and Jordan also handles nutrition/meal plans for their clients. When the gym was unable to remain open during the pandemic restrictions, Jordan created an online program so that everyone could workout and stay healthy at home. I immediately signed up for their program, and since I started it, I have lost 15 lbs. I swear by their meal plans and workouts because I have gone to their gym for years and followed their nutritional guidance, and to be honest, no one can get me into shape as good as they can. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for yourself or a loved one, then give them the gift of health. Djuan and Jordan have several different programs and options to work with them. You can check out what they have to offer on their website. https://www.byanymeansfitness.com/
4. Camila’s hot cocoa bombs
Camila is my friend’s daughter turned entrepreneur. Thanks to being stuck at home, Camila decided she wanted something to do that was productive that she enjoyed and could make some extra money for Christmas. About that same time, the mad craze over hot cocoa bombs began. She asked her mom if she could bake hot chocolate bombs and sell them because she loves to bake. Her mom said that she could do it, thinking she may sell one or two. Flash forward, and Camila’s hot chocolate bombs have been so popular that she has been filled with orders for the past month. Camila’s parents, Palmira and Chaz, quickly realized their daughter couldn’t do it independently and that she needed help to continue making her Christmas money. They promptly set up shop. Now it is a family affair where both Palmira and Chaz help Camila make the hot cocoa bombs and deliver the orders. It’s the winter version of a lemonade stand, but instead of lemonade, it’s hot chocolate, which is way better, in my opinion. Camila sells her hot cocoa bombs at $5 each or 4 for $15. She has both white chocolate and milk chocolate options. They are adorably decorated, filled with hot cocoa and marshmallows on the inside and delicious chocolate on the outside. They taste amazing. Camila has decided that she will only be making the hot chocolate bombs during the winter, so get yours while you can. To place your orders, you can contact either Palmira Jefferson via Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/palmira.sarmiento.5
5. Norwalk Furniture
The team at Norwalk offers custom upholstery, window treatments, new and antique rugs, custom bedding, and gifts, as well as a range of home design consulting and services. They are a one-stop-shop for everything interior design and decorating. Owned by my personal friends and husband duo Bryant Stanley and Justin Morris and their best friends Tawana Palmer and Kellie Clarke, these fabulous four make their customers’ homes an actual statement piece. They work with all ranges of budgets, and there is something for everyone in their store. There is not another group of people in the Kentucky area that I would trust with designing or decorating my home. Since so many people bought a new home in 2020, what’s a better way to show it off than having fabulous décor and design. Bryant is also a real estate agent, so if you are looking for a home in the Lexington area, not only can he help you find the perfect place, but they can help you design the perfect home! They are located at 2200 War Admiral Way Lexington, KY 40509. If Lexington is too far from Louisville, then no worries, they travel! You can check them out on their Facebook page or website. http://norwalklexington.com/
6. Goldheart stones and such
If you follow me on Instagram, then there is a good chance that you have noticed that I’m a stoner. Yes, a stoner. Not the illegal type of stoner but the one who collects crystals, rocks, and stones, that type. My favorite place in Louisville to go get “stoned” is by far Goldheart stones and such. Casey Goldheart is the owner, and he has one of the most impressive collections of crystals that I have ever seen. He carries everything from your classic rose quartz hearts to your fossils and highly sought out crystal flames (I now own four thanks to Goldheart and my crazy crystal addiction.) Due to the pandemic, his store has not been opened to the public since March, but to keep the business going during these strange times, he runs Facebook Live sales with a different collection of crystals each day. His live sales usually take place Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at 12:30 p.m. You can place a purchase and have them shipped to you, or you can schedule a time to stop by the shop and pick them up. You can pick up your purchases at 980 Barret Ave, Louisville, KY 40204, and I’m sure once this is all over, the doors will reopen, and you can experience the glory that is Goldheart stones and such in person. https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=goldheart%3A%20stones%20and%20such
7. Greater Art Soulutions
The old saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” in today’s world, not only is a picture worth a thousand words, but it can also be worth thousands of dollars for your business or brand. Society is currently driven by digital marketing and image. To have a successful online business or online presence, you must-have photos. Whether it be of your company, product, or yourself, a high-quality picture can make a world of difference when trying to market yourself in the digital world. Since most everyone has gone digital this year, then it is now more critical than ever. Choosing the right photographer to not only portray your product or company but, more importantly, yourself is one of the hardest parts. Guillermo Sollano is the owner and head photographer of Greater Art Soulutions, and he is who did my photos for my tutoring business website. I explained what I had in mind and let his creativity take over. It was more than evident that Guillermo’s heart and soul go into his photography during my photoshoot. I’ve never experienced a photography session where the photographer wanted to get to know me personally and not just take photos to have enough selection. If you are looking to update your photos, then look no further than Greater Art Solutions. You can check out more of Guillermo’s work by visiting his website. https://greaterartsoulutions.com/
8. Play with Clay
My favorite local painter has been and probably will always be Clay Mata. Not only is she a personal friend of mine, but she is also extremely talented. She does custom design pieces of art. You can request any and everything. Her newest item is a mini canvas that she uses to paint different singers, actors, influential people, comic characters, etc., on them. You can have a mini painting of your favorite singer on your desk, or if your friend or significant other is obsessed with baby Yoda, you can gift them a mini-canvas painting of baby Yoda for their home office. Not only does she do canvas paintings, but she also paints jackets and shoes. Everything is custom made, and no two pieces are alike. Last year, I purchased handpainted holiday mugs from her, and my Grinch mug is now my everyday mug during December. If you are looking for a truly unique gift, then look no further than Play with Clay. To check out more of her work and to place an order. https://www.instagram.com/playwithclay/
9. Serena’s Soaps and Salves
Mother/daughter duo Lora and Serena sell homemade goat milk soaps, lotions, and healing salves for a variety of skin conditions. They use all organic products to make the soaps and salves, and I can vouch that they smell and feel amazing. Serena, has Down Syndrome, and they created the business because they wanted her to prove to herself and others that her condition will not keep her from accomplishing anything. Every product is packaged and labeled by Serena herself, and she is very involved in the business. Hearing her story instantly inspired me, and when I checked out their products, I fell in love. Not only are their products incredible, but the fact that they are local and Serena’s story makes supporting them that much better. During the winter our skin tends to get dry and crack, give someone the gift of smooth, healthy skin by gifting them a soap or lotion from Serena’s Soaps and Salves. Check out their variety of products on their website. https://www.serenassoaps.com/
10. ALAS Language Tutoring
Yes, I am shamelessly plugging my own business on this post. For those who don’t know, I am a language teacher/tutor. I tutor and teach both English and Spanish, and this year I decided to offer my tutoring services to the world by creating my own tutoring business, ALAS Language Tutoring. My number one passion has always been and will always be travel, but languages and teaching are other big passions of mine. I teach and tutor all ages and create customized lesson plans that tailor to each student’s needs. For those who have been wanting to learn another language or brush up on Spanish but feel like they need a more personalized experience, that is exactly what I offer. My lessons cater to each individual’s needs with the target language. Right now, I only offer English or Spanish, but I will be offering one of the other languages that I speak in the future. ALAS Language Tutoring isn’t just a tutoring business; it’s a passion project. ALAS means wings in Spanish, and I truly believe that by learning another language, we are able to expand our “wings” in a multitude of ways. If you are interested in learning Spanish, need a tutor for your child’s Spanish classes, or just want to pick back up where you left on, then check out my website and my different tutoring packages and options. https://www.alaslanguagetutoring.com/
Happy Holidays and remember when shopping for your special someone, your family, or yourself, shop small! These are some of the many faces that you will be supporting by shopping small and local. To quote Djuan Means, “If we don’t support us, who will?”
I have so much to be grateful for and not just this year but every year. I’m healthy, I have my family and friends, I was able to travel at the beginning of the year, and I’ve rediscovered some of my passions. Honestly, my gratitude list could go on forever. However, we are all aware of what a roller coaster ride 2020 has been. I’ve had two long periods of writer’s block during this year. This is the first blog post that I publish in weeks because I’ve had the worst round of writer’s block of my life, but even with the downs of 2020, this year has been a blessing in disguise for me.
I know you may be thinking to yourself, say what? The girl who catches flights, the one who is always searching for the next big adventure, is calling 2020 a blessing when she hasn’t been able to travel since March? I know, shocking! The truth is, 2020 is a blessing in its own way. Having to stay in one spot and go on the most intense journey, the journey within myself, is probably one of the best things that could have happened this year.
I’m grateful for the moments of solitude that 2020 has brought me. Being “stuck” in one place has given me no other option than to go within and take a look at what has been missing, what has been ignored, and what it is that I desire. Do I have all the answers? No, I don’t. However, I have more insight into what I want, who I want to become, and what I want to do. Trust me; I don’t plan on giving up travel because one of the answers to what I want to do with my life is still to travel the world, but without taking the time to soul search, I would probably still be roaming the world to look for the answers that have always been within.
This year has been difficult and challenging for almost everyone I know. Some have lost loved ones, some have lost their jobs as I did, some have dealt with unexpected health issues, and others have faced some of their worst moments. This year’s trials feel more prominent than the triumphs, but I choose to remain positive and look at this year as a challenge. A time to step up to the plate and show the universe what you are made of.
The truth is it doesn’t matter what year it may be; there will always be problems and challenges to face. Maybe this year is the one that came in to remind us to remain grateful. To quit taking for granted the small things like going for a walk in the park, talking with friends and family, and sharing a meal with a loved one. These are the things that matter the most. The more we lead our lives in gratitude, the more we realize that we have an abundant amount of items to be grateful for.
With all of this being said, I want to say that I am grateful. I am thankful for this year; however screwed up it may be. I’m grateful for my health, family, friends, passions, talents, and faults. I’m thankful for 2020 and all of the tests, lessons, and blessings it has brought. Last but not least, I am grateful for every single one of you. Those of you who read my blog, follow me on social media, call yourself my friend or family, and am thankful to have each of you in my life. Thank you for following me along this crazy journey called life. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
An excellent way to avoid the hustle and bustle of city life is by spending time in nature. One of the popular ways to do this in Bali is by visiting a rice paddy. The most popular being Tegallalang in Ubud is the one featured in my photo. If you are interested in a total chill moment, I would suggest visiting a different one. Teglalang is beautiful and is the most popular, and it means that it is packed with tourists. It’s a must-see while in Bali. Now you know where all of the photos of rice paddies on your Instagram feed are coming from.
To book a tour to the rice paddy and other places of interest in Bali check out Adpada Bali Tours by clicking here: https://www.adpadabalitrans.com/
2. Try the world’s most expensive coffee.
I sh*t you not, (pun intended) the world’s most expensive coffee comes from Bali, Indonesia, and more specifically, it comes out of an animal’s feces. That’s right. An animal called a civet eats coffee cherries and digests them, and once they poop them out, they are cleaned and turned into coffee.
I love coffee, and I figure, I’ve tried some weird things in my lifetime, so why not? Kopi Luwak coffee doesn’t taste awful, but I also don’t think it is worth the price that it is sold worldwide, which is about $600 per pound. In other words, I’m not a huge fan.
The other part is that there has been such a high demand for this coffee worldwide that now the animals are put in caged and force-fed coffee cherries to mass-produce the highly sought out coffee. I tried it at a local farm that doesn’t produce on the mass scale and doesn’t force-feed their civets, nor do they partake in things such as animal cruelty. The truth is most people don’t know about the process involved; they hear “World’s Most Expensive coffee” and try it without knowing the backstory.
I’m not blaming anyone. No one randomly googles searches “World’s most expensive coffee” unless they are in the industry or a coffee connoisseur. However, I am a wildlife advocate and want to save our natural resources, so I feel compelled to inform my readers.
One of the popular things to do while in Bali is to visit a monkey forest. The main one on the island is the Ubud Monkey Forest.
Before visiting any Monkey Forest in Bali, you should know a few things;
They are used to tourists, and therefore they will approach you. Do not make a big scene like running, jumping, or screaming. It will scare them and quite possibly make them aggressive towards you.
They will steal your glasses, cell phones, hats, wallets, jewelry, etc. If you don’t want to lose something, put it in your backpack.
Because they are used to tourists, they expect food. Make sure you have plenty of nuts to feed them because they will get aggressive.
Monkeys in the Monkey Forests are known to do things like bite and throw sh*t at people. These things usually happen when tourists have not brought enough food or have started screaming or scaring them.
You are in their habitat. Respect them and do not try to hurt them. Remain calm and remember, it’s their territory, not yours.
My biggest suggestion is to not go to the popular Monkey Forest and go to a small one. Why? The monkeys are not nearly as aggressive, and they don’t focus on tourists. They prefer to keep their distance.I went to the Alas Kedaton Monkey Forest, which is much smaller, and as you can see, one of the monkeys approached me, and it went smoothly.
It’s an exciting experience. The monkeys are not in cages or mistreated by locals, but anytime any animals are involved with tourism, it is best to do your research and know how the animals are being cared for.
4. Visit a Hindu Temple
One thing that is abundant in Bali are Hindu temples. You can find them all over the island and you do not have to go far to find them. The Hindu temples are not only a representation of the Hindu religion which is the most prevalent religion on the island, but it is also a staple part of Balinese culture.
While I traveled around Bali with a new friend that I made who happened to be a local. I asked why I kept seeing people with baskets filled with fruit, flowers, and even money. He explained to me that part of Balinese Hindus traditions is to make a daily offering. If they cannot reach a temple, they will take their offering to one of the many small shrines spread throughout the cities and towns.
My new friend told me that if I wanted to make an offering, I could do so. He went with me to buy what I needed to take it to one of the local temples.
Honestly, it was a unique experience. I guess people will jump and say I tried to recreate an Eat, Pray, Love moment, but I’ve always been spiritual. I like to participate in a country’s culture actively, so for me, it was more about the experience than religion.
5. Visit Nusa Pineda
Nusa Pineda isn’t part of Bali, it is actually a separate island but if you are already in Bali then I highly suggest making the trip to Nusa Pineda. Why? Well, apart from being the second most popular spot for photos for the gram in Indonesia is Nusa Pineda just look at the views.
This small island is a short ferry ride from Bali, and although many tourists visit, it doesn’t feel overcrowded or packed at all. I suggest booking a tour guide or someone to show you around since getting around the island will be tough without a vehicle or motorcycle.
My guide while I was on the island was Tony who can be found on Instagram by clicking https://www.instagram.com/tonygila420/, highly recommend Tony. He is super down to Earth and laid back. He’s also extremely knowledgeable about Nusa Pineda and Indonesia in general.
A fun fact about the island is that Indonesians believe that the island is where evil spirits/black magic resides. Don’t let that scare you, though. Balinese believe that both good and bad must exist to create balance. Indonesian’s aren’t afraid of visiting the island, nor should you be. The island isn’t scary, and you feel like you are in paradise while you are there.
I love small islands because there is an immediate relaxing feeling when you arrive. Less traffic, less noise, fewer worries. I think 2020 has made everyone want to stay on an island for at least a month, and what better location than Nusa Penida?
If Bali wasn’t already on your bucket list then I hope after this list of things to do while in Bali has convinced you to add it. Below are more photos from my trip to Bali that I did not include on Instagram.
Stayed tuned for next weeks post where our virtual journey takes us to Thailand!
